Annunciation Greek Orthodox Church
The Clergy Care Project
Blessed are those who mourn, and those who comfort them.
Ministry matters
Each of us has a way of ministering to our dying and grieving communities. Ministry Matters offers reflections and tips from those of us who have walked with the dying and the grieving.
Pastoral Tips
Forgiveness
1. Expect Complexity, Not Simplicity. Normalize the difficulty of forgiving and offer spiritual scaffolding, not shame, for those who aren’t ready.
2. Anchor Forgiveness in Christ’s Command. Gently reframe forgiveness as obedience to Christ, while honoring the emotional process it requires.
3. Recognize the Humanity Behind the Harm. Help parishioners see brokenness as part of the human condition—not as a reason to despair, but to forgive.
Testimonial
Forgiving after a fatal accident
By Fr. Dimitri Kyritsis, Canonsburg, PA
After decades in law enforcement, I’ve seen the worst of humanity. I’ve arrested clergy, officers, teachers. I’ve witnessed betrayal from those entrusted with care. Some community members will forgive quickly. Others won’t. And that’s okay. Forgiveness is not a moment --it’s a process. It depends on proximity to the pain, the depth of the wound. I have tried to honor both without judgment, because healing is not linear.
But one story of forgiveness stands out: it’s the story of what happened after eight boys -- out running one day -- were killed by a drunk driver. One of the mothers, whose son was among them, chose not vengeance, but witness. She arranged for the young man who killed her child to speak to high schoolers about the dangers of drinking and driving. She stood beside him. That’s forgiveness. That’s spiritual maturity.
Christ didn’t offer forgiveness as a suggestion. He gave it as a command. It heals the wronged and the wrongdoer. It’s the only path forward when death, betrayal, or addiction threaten to define us.
We forgive not because we forget -- but because we remember who we follow.
Pastoral Tips
Humility
1. Embrace Silence as Sacred.
2. Let Go of the Need to Fix.
3. Honor the Mystery -- walk with others in that mystery, not ahead of it.
4. Model Vulnerability.
5. Trust Christ’s Presence -- your presence affirms that Christ is already there.
6. Companion, Don’t Command -- listen more than speak.
7. Recognize the Power of Not Knowing.
Testimonial
Humility in the Face of Mystery
Fr. Alex Goussetis, Lititz, PA
There was a moment I’ll never forget—standing beside a hospital bed, the family gathered, the air thick with grief. I had no words, and I suddenly realized that was okay. In those sacred hours, I’ve learned that our calling isn’t to explain death or to ease sorrow with tidy theology. It’s to be present. To hold space. To companion.
We are not the answer-givers. We are the ones who dare to walk into the unknown with others, trusting that Christ is already there. Silence can be holy. Tears can be prayer. And not knowing—truly not knowing—can be a form of deep pastoral wisdom.
When I stopped trying to fix grief and simply stood in it, I discovered the power of mystery. The dying do not need our certainty. The grieving do not need our eloquence. They need our presence, our prayers, and our willingness to sit in the ache.
This is not weakness. It is sacred humility.
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Pastoral Tips
Humility
1. Start with what you don’t know. It signals openness and invites others to fill the space with their stories. It also models that clergy don’t need omniscience to offer meaningful care.
2. Let silence speak. Admitting uncertainty can be more comforting than polished platitudes. It affirms the mystery of grief and the dignity of the mourner’s experience.
Testimonial
"We are not called to be experts."
Fr. Stephen Callos, Cleveland Heights, OH
Especially in moments of death and grief, it’s useful to acknowledge limits. We don’t always get to know parishioners before we give them a funeral. And when we do sit with their families, it’s not always clear what to say. That’s not a failure—it’s part of the sacred work.
I remember beginning a homily with, “I didn’t know him well. I knew him through his family.” That honesty opened the door for their stories to emerge: I had read online tributes, listened to grandchildren, and let their voices shape the message. That kind of humility doesn’t weaken our role—it strengthens it. It says: I’m here to hold space, not to fill it.
Another time, sitting with a grieving spouse, I simply said, “I don’t know what to say.” And that silence—shared, unforced—became the ministry. Sometimes presence is more powerful than words.
We’re not called to be experts in every sorrow. We’re called to be faithful companions. And that begins with the courage to admit what we don’t know.
Pastoral Tips
Testimonial
The Last Visit
1. Interrupt the calendar -- be willing to rearrange.
2. Prioritize presence.
3. Listen when your heart says “go.”
4. Offer the sacrament.
5. Hold both ends of life.
Just say, "Yes."
Fr. Dimitri Kyritsis, Canonsburg, PA
On what was supposed to be my day off, I received a call from a grandson asking if I could visit his dying Yiayia in hospice. My schedule was packed, and I was mid-conversation with someone in my office. But I said, "yes." Within 20 minutes, I was at her bedside, offering communion and the prayer for the separation of soul and body. She died the next morning. Had I waited, the moment would have passed. That visit, followed by a baptism the next day, reminded me that the priesthood is about showing up for both endings and beginnings—without delay.